It isn’t too late, right?
It’s 5 early morning yet I’m still awake doing nothing really productive. I am scheduled to something important by 9am today but I think with my condition right now, I’ll screw up this schedule for the second time around. Well, I missed blogging. I missed not the "smorty","blogsvertise" or any other sponsored blogging days but I miss blogging my heart out. Lately, I’ve been stucked with a lot of annoying things, people and deadlines to catch up but what stucked me more is this annoying self of mine!
I’ve always reminded myself that it is a choice to be happy-since I’m not-it’s my choice! But oh, how would that be when all I’ve been thinking and longed for is to be happy. Well guys, there are really things in this world that we can’t control of, even ourselves. I masked myself with a smile yet inside it is a heart crying for something that even I couldn’t figure it out! Just a week ago when I blogged out with happiness but in a snap of a finger-all were lost! I screwed up a lot of people lately because of what impatience has driven me but above all this, I screwed up myself as if loosing all the values I learned in the past years. I thought I’ve grown up and I’ve been thinking I am strong enough- but I’m wrong. I’m still young and still vulnerable with necessary and unnecessary pains within.
Time knows best when to give us that chances to speak, share or even freak out. Time even knows when to drive off all my friends in the messenger’s list so I’d really end up no one to turn to. Why when we need people to talk with-they’re gone and leaving us hanging, in my case-well, it’s me. It’s the worst time of my life and yet I have no one to share with-no one to cheer up this hopeless being. I’ve been thinking earlier to go for a retreat or something that would collect the broken pieces of the good side in me. Then later I realized, I have to do it on my own. I broke myself and so I have to pick these pieces by my own. No one I think would dare to do. Well, that’s a hopeless thinking for a hopeless being. I’ve been thinking to get away from this place and from these people I’m dependent to so I could learn on my own. Then later my thoughts will share-there’s no running out. CONFUSED! That maybe the best word to describe me at this moment. Part of screwing up myself is becoming bad-even loving it to be bad. But oh, I realized I’m being rebellious with what’s happening within me and around me. I wanted a change- a better change. Yet, still confused of how will I begin that change. But I must! It isn’t too late, right?
Mommy.. Your one of the strongest women I know.. I know you can conquer those feelings. Time really knows best, Im sorry I wasnt their to cheer u up.. But thanks for being there always for me.. Char!
Comment by baby jopal — April 7, 2008 @ 1:27 pm
Choosing to be happy is not the same as being happy. You have to take actions to affirm your choice of being happy.
How can you be happy when as you say, you are being bad. The point that you note that you are “bad” is a form of negativity. You have to reexamine what you are doing with your life and you will see what you have to change in order to be truly happy.
My .02
Greg
———-
Lady, get a HOBBY. Stop wallowing in self-pity.
Vince a.k.a. “EVIL GREG”
Comment by Greg — April 11, 2008 @ 5:47 pm
Haller jops and greg! Thanks for dropping by.
At greg: You’re right. Being bad never ever brought me to that happiness. And so, I did all my best and will always be doing my best to be good always..Now, I notice a smooth flow of things in my life thus making me simply happy. Thanks again!
Comment by mgi — April 12, 2008 @ 1:01 am
Blog round. No updates anymore!
Comment by AlRitch — April 23, 2008 @ 1:35 am
blog round! hehehe kaya mo yan! FC ko noh! hahaha
Comment by Didi — April 27, 2008 @ 10:55 am
MGI
Add my blog up
http://karlpox.com
Thanks!
Comment by karlpox — April 30, 2008 @ 1:49 am
hi, te grace.. hoping you’ll find yourself soon. It’s a matter of determining what you are sent for, and finding your way through it. bye2
Comment by cathchix — May 2, 2008 @ 12:33 pm
In a recent bout of cynicism, I said to a friend of mine that life is basically about seeing how much crap you can take before something inside you snaps.
In many ways, that’s true, but the thing with such statements is that they only cover one side of the story. Happiness isn’t a choice. A single mother with four kids to support and no income can’t just flip a switch and be happy. Just hang in there. If not for the sad times, you wouldn’t appreciate the happy times nearly as much.
Comment by Aeris — May 2, 2008 @ 1:52 pm